


The World Rewinds (But You Thought It Had Ended)

by ConfessedGeek



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-01
Updated: 2016-12-05
Packaged: 2018-08-28 10:51:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8443042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ConfessedGeek/pseuds/ConfessedGeek
Summary: When the red saber pierced her chest, the Force was supposed to welcome her - not torture her with this cruel joke.





	1. Trick

**Author's Note:**

> Just something I thought might be fun to try - might evolve into story.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own anything of Star Wars

For a while, everything is dark. It is not the suffocating darkness of nightmares, nor the unawareness of dreamless sleep. She knows it is dark – dark and silent as the deserted Jedi Temple, her once home, that she had stepped into just a few short months after the purge.

She does not know how long she stays in the darkness, accompanied by only the memories of a red saber and the agony of a horrible truth. But the longer she lingers, the easier it is for fear to sink in -

Because is she not supposed to be welcomed to the Force? For while the darkness was not menacing, it was empty, cold; _lonely._

Only when these thoughts become stronger, when she starts to feel tiny and unsure in a way she had not since her youth – she hears several voices whispering as one:

_Not yet child. Not yet._

She sinks into oblivion.

**I~I**

Sun burns through her closed eye lids; a warmth surrounding her.

She sighs at the warmth, instinctively curling into herself to keep it close while voices speak above her in hushed tones.

They are familiar voices; deep and kind. They are...

_Wrong._

Her eyes fly open, struggling to get out of the cot with too shaky legs that seem shorter than she remembers upon seeing the two men by her bedside.

Because they can't be here. They _can't._

They're dead.

The two men are on their feet in an instant, calling out her name, both reaching out to help her...She jerks away from them as if they will burn her (which they will - they have...), stumbling back – all her grace gone. _Theycan'ttheycan'tnononono..._

Tears blur her vision as she stumbles further back, a hand held out to keep them _away._ She has not cried in front of anyone in years, (she had no one she trusted so much anymore.) not for torture, not for death, nor for the terrible ache of loneliness. She won't break that habit even for this _trick,_ this cruel awful vision taunting her with the images of those who she had so loved.

Then _he_ says _it;_ the word not spoken to her in over ten years with such painfully _familiar_ concern.

" _Snips."_

She breaks; slumping against the wall, a sob catches in her throat, makes her choke and taste salt water. All she sees through the wave of tears are the night-sky blue eyes of Anakin Skywalker widening in disbelief, concern etched in every line of his face as his padawan let out a scream.


	2. Worry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! I'm stunned (but ridiculously happy) at the interest in this fic. Hope this chapter is what you guys hope for!
> 
> Disclaimer: Don't own Star Wars.

Something was wrong.

Anakin had known that the second Ahsoka had awoken – her eyes wide with disbelief and fear as she tried to get as far as she could from him and Obi-wan. That fact had only grown more obvious when, in an effort to calm her, he had spoken her nickname only for her to break down like she had been carrying the galaxy on her shoulders.

She got into such a state that she hadn’t realized when he had kneeled to take her crumpled form into his arms, shushing her gently and rocking her ever so slightly. “You’re okay Snips. You’re okay...” Her hands had clutched at his tunic, the material twisting tightly as she muttered incoherent sentences that he gave up trying to decipher.

He had never seen Ahsoka like that – and never wanted to again

If Obi-wan’s stunned, sombre expression was anything to go by – neither did he.

**I~I**

 At first, Anakin had desperately wanted to blame Bane. He was so sure the nerf-herder had done something worse than electrocution, that in his mind several new plans formed from the old to make the Bounty-hunter meet his end. Preferably _slowly._..

But after the first two days after their escape, when Ahsoka didn’t pull him aside and her body showed no other wounds than the ones he had already seen, Anakin reluctantly dismissed that theory. Reluctant because now he didn’t know what to go on.

Or rather – he didn’t like the where the small clues he had were leading him.

  **I~I**

The first few days, Ahsoka could not even _look_ at him, not really. She would look at his chin, at the dirt speckled across his tunic or at some space right behind him – but never, never at _him._ The habit was infuriating in the way it was so _not_ Ahsoka – not his padawan who was unafraid to stare him down and give him a piece of her mind at the worst of times.

But then, five days after the whole holocron fiasco – he caught her gazing at him with her blue eyes from the corner of his eye. It was intense, her gaze; as though she was analyzing every curve, scar, and pore of his face.

He almost wished she hadn’t. Because while the avoidance was concerning – it was not nearly as terrifying as having her look at him like she was seeing a ghost.

What made it worse was it wasn’t just him she gazed at like that.

  **I~I**

One day when they walked by a particularly reflective surface, Ahsoka suddenly stopped and stared at her reflection. This was odd in itself, as the Togruta had never been one for vanity - But the thing that made Anakin uneasy was the frown that tugged down his padawan’s lips and the disbelief in her blue eyes as she subconsciously raised a hand to her face.

As if she didn’t recognize herself.

**I~I**

He tried to get a reading off her from their Force-bond, but to his dismay it was barred like a high-level security prison. Growing increasingly worried, Anakin wondered when she had gotten so good at shielding.

**I~I**

Just a little over a week after the whole incident with Bane, they sat eating lunch (that’s the generous thing to call it) in the _Resolute’s_ cafeteria sitting face to face. Anakin watched as Ahsoka unwrapped her ration bar before biting into it, chewing slowly while her eyes stayed focused on the space between his forearms.

“Ahsoka, what’s wrong?”

He can’t stop the words from escaping his mouth, and he doesn’t bother to take them back when he sees her grip on the ration bar tighten ever so slightly. Anakin watches the way his padawan’s jaw clench just a bit as she swallows while her eyes flicker up to meet his briefly. “I’m fine, Anakin.” She punctuates the statement with a smile that did not reach her eyes – that hadn’t reached her eyes since she had awoken over a week ago.

“Skyguy:” the nickname she loved to use hadn’t once left her lips either.

He frowned, frustration gathering in his eyes and boiling into his voice when she glanced down _again._ “You’re _not_ fine Ahsoka. You can’t even _look_ at me or Obi-wan!” _‘_ _And when you do – it’s like you can’t believe we’re here.’_

Ahsoka’s grip tightens again, like she had heard the unspoken part of his sentence; chewing ever so slowly before swallowing: “I’m just – trying to make sense of things.” She says firmly, but quietly.

“Make sense of what?” Anakin demands, his voice raising.

Ahsoka glances up at him, making him shiver from the unknown emotion in her eyes even as her lips curl upwards in a weak smile. “Why I’m here.”

**I~I**

He argues with Windu until they are granted at least two weeks of leave from the front lines.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any advice? Compliments? Questions? If so - they are much appreciated!


	3. Slip

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! I'm stunned (and happy) by all the positive feedback on this story! Hope you guys enjoy.  
> *Important note at end.  
> Disclaimer: Do not own Star Wars.

When they arrived at the Temple, Ahsoka couldn't help but stare. It looked so – _pristine._ So full of life compared to when she had last set foot here five years ago (five years from now?).

"Ahsoka?" Her eyes focused on Anakin, taking in the furrowing of his brow over brilliant, beautiful blue that reminded her of the night sky filled with stars. She loved that colour; had never forgotten it even as other details faded that couldn't be caught in a holograph.

She remembers thinking after feeling light after brilliant light burn out in the Force, that if they ever met again she would recognize him by those eyes.

She had been wrong.

Shaking the thought away, Ahsoka forces a smile onto her lips even as she fiddles with the edges of her cloak. "Sorry, it's just been awhile."

It takes a moment for Anakin to return the smile. "Yeah, it has been."

' _You have no idea...'_

**I~I**

She follows him up the steps at a quick pace, trying not to linger on how there had been a hole where her foot was stepping – that the front doors had been kicked down and littered with blaster fire. She swallows it down, trying to keep her eyes on Anakin's back especially as they begin to wander the halls where the Force imprints had been so strong she could hear the screams...

Her fists tighten at her sides; fighting back the tears that have been coming from her tear ducts so easily recently as she recognizes some of the Jedi passing her from her life before her farce of a trial – and later their shades dying by dozens.

So consumed in the past (future?) she nearly walks into Anakin as he freezes, stopping herself just in time. _(despite being here for a week she's still scared that if she touches him he will disappear and she will be back in the nothingness... )_

Frowning, she notes how his back is tense – much like how it was before he was walking into battle either on the field or within himself - before he spins to face her, blue eyes like fire. "What was that?"

"What was what?" She asks, genuine confusion colouring her voice as he stepped closer, invading her personal space. _(When was the last time he had been this close to her?)_

" _That."_ Anakin breathes out, face scrunched in confusion and concern while her form loomed over her due to his closeness.

_Harsh mechanical breathing – the aura of hatred and suffering suffocating her – coming from the monstrous form that towered over her._

_(That's when.)_

Her breath catches; taking an automatic step back even as he whispers: "You're in _pain."_

Sky-blue eyes widen in realization; metal shields slamming back up in an instant as her bare back brushed against a pillar. Anakin looks liked he had been slapped; his night-sky eyes so wide with hurt and anxiety that for a moment Ahsoka's heart aches. When she feels him knock at her steel door almost timidly, (a thing Anakin never was) his longing to understand seeping through a crack it takes everything in her to not let him in, to not break into tears again.

Somehow, she manages to pull on a smile. "I'm fine."

" _Don't."_ To her shock Anakin's voice cracks, though the emotion which caused it is unknown until he forcibly clears his throat and practically growls: "Don't lie to me, young one."

For a brief, mad, second she wants to laugh at the term. ' _I'm older than you Anakin.'_ She thinks with dark amusement wrapped in bitterness; witnessing the storm gathering in his eyes as he searched hers hungrily for answers.

She notes how different their eyes are despite being the same colour:

Hers, a cloudless sky.

His, a starry night.

It is unnervingly fitting – considering how their last lives turned out.

She swallows. Relents. "I _will_ be fine."

His jaw loosens slightly, the storm calming to reveal the stars behind the clouds even as he still stares at her – probably hoping she would tell him what she needed to get over. After a moment of silence however, his adam's apple bobs as he steps back carefully giving her a jerky nod.

Ahsoka fights the urge to let out a breath when he turns and continues walking; she knew better than to think he was letting this go. He was merely waiting for another time – when he had more to go on.

Peeling herself from the wall in order to follow him she resolves not to slip up again.

**I~I**

' _Oh...'_

Her eyes take in the small, plain quarters with a reverence she never had in her previous life. Subconsciously, she runs her fingers over any surface within reach – feeling something like a balloon bursting in her chest when they came away free of dust.

Unbidden, tears prick her eyes as Anakin moves to the kitchen and starts searching through the cabinets, cursing in Huttese when there wasn't anything worth eating...

' _Just breathe Tano. It's just an apartment. Breathe.'_

In. Out. In...she chokes, eyes resting on the holograph of her standing with Obi-wan, Anakin and Rex after a particularly taxing mission – all covered in mud and grinning triumphantly at the camera. She almost sprints to the bathroom, shutting the door behind her and slumping against it. Pressing a hand to her face to stop the flow of tears - she looks up, a shaky breath escaping her.

Forcing herself to stand, she walks towards the sink – staring at a sixteen year old face with the eyes of a twenty-six year old who saw too much. A stranger.

"What do you want with me?" She whispers, the question she had been asking since she had gained enough sense to realize where (when) she was.

As usual, she got no answer.

Her nails dig into the basin as she sucked in a breath, then let it out; still gazing at her past and future mixed into one image: the Jedi and the Rebel leader.

But she wasn't really them, was she? She definitely wasn't padawan Tano – snippy and carefree, playing war like a game of Luck with higher stakes... _(Because she had fought different battles now where her lightsaber burned flesh instead of metal and children lay unmoving in their homes while soldiers fired on the rest of the village. Where she was alone with no one to help her through it...)_

Unconsciously, her fingers brush against her (old) lightsabers resting at her hip. No matter her weapon of choice – she was no Jedi. She didn't want to be, not when they were the ones to abandon herself and her Master when they needed them most...Ahsoka's teeth grit at the memory, her fists tightening at her sides even as she sucked in another breath. In, out. In, out. In the mirror blue irises gaze back – comfortably familiar despite being unnervingly old on her young face.

She couldn't be a rebel either – at least, not like she had been.

A knock sounds at the door: "Ahsoka, how do you feel about take-out?"

But did that matter anymore?

"Take out sounds great." She responds, trying to keep her voice steady. "Just give me a second."

After all, none of it has happened yet. _(No one has fallen yet...)_

Sky blue eyes widen at the realization, some of the fear fading to the hope blossoming in her chest... _'Maybe – maybe it doesn't have to happen at all.'_

"All right, Snips." Anakin responds softly before moving away from the door, unaware that his padawan was drinking in his words – spoken in a voice that was all his own...

Because Jedi or Rebel, past or future, a part of her had always belonged to Anakin Skywalker.

And here in the present, that had not changed. Probably never would.

Ahsoka's jaw tightens in determination. She wasn't going to leave him.

She wouldn't let him fall. Not this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, for those of you who have read this story – I went back and changed the time frame for the future from 16 years to 10 because I know a lot of people like to pretend Rebels doesn't exist and I myself am a little iffy on the series. (Seriously, Ahsoka is the best thing in that series) That, and also I want to make a slightly darker backstory – hopefully which I can accomplish.
> 
> That being said, any comments, inquiries and/or constructive criticism are greatly appreciated.


	4. Dreams?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All right, here is the much awaited chapter. I thank you all for your patience and lovely feedback, and I hope I can update sooner next time.  
> Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars.

It took every bit of self-control Anakin had to not demand answers from Ahsoka as they sat eating at Dex's. No easy feat – especially since the questions danced on his tongue every time the Togruta female met his eyes. It got to the point where Anakin could only taste blood whenever he chewed on his bantha burger. He still tastes copper now even as he steps into the elevator that will lead him to Padmé's apartment and he wishes he had a better chance to wash his mouth out.

But, despite his infamous impatience and the memory of what had slipped past her shields unaware that set his teeth on edge, he managed it.

Barely.

Anakin closes his eyes tightly as he remembers Ahsoka's thoughts. There had been so many emotions - a hurricane all crashing down on him at once: _ConfusionAngerLongingSorrow..._

After feeling all that _anguish,_ Anakin had not wanted to leave Ahsoka alone even to see his wife for fear of what his padawan may do in such a state. But, he also felt that there was little point in staying with his padawan when he did not even know how to help her. So, Anakin had asked Obi-wan to keep an eye on Ahsoka while he went to 'figure things out' and tried to ignore Obi-wan's knowing look he caught from the corner of his eye.

_**Ding.** _

Anakin's eyes flutter open, stepping out of the elevator smoothly just as the doors finished opening. When Padmé answers her door, radiant as always, Anakin gathers her in his arms without pause. "I've missed you, love." He whispers against her sweet-smelling hair as she clings to him, laughing.

"And I've missed you, my handsome Jedi." She pulls away, a lovely smile curling her lips as she placed a hand against his cheek, rubbing her thumb in comforting circles. Her smile fades after a moment, brown eyes flashing with sadness. "It's been too long."

He presses a gentle kiss to her palm, dark blue eyes gazing at her heavily with the knowledge. "I know – hopefully this war will end soon."

"Isn't that what we all want?" Padmé sighs, running a thumb over his cheek as she gazed at her husband for a long moment before a frown pinched her features. "Something is bothering you."

Anakin snorts. "The war is quite annoying..."

"Ani." Padmé admonished, cutting him off effectively despite the small smile that curled her lips at the comment. "Something _else_ is bothering you. Is it the council? _"_

Anakin let out a short chuckle. "Don't worry love, you won't have to hear any complaints about them not being able to change their ways. Not this time." As his voice became more quiet, the Jedi's expression grew more sombre, his dark blue eyes leaving his wife's face to linger on her palm.

"What is it then?" Padmé whispered.

Anakin studied the beautiful Senator's slim hand for another moment while she waited patiently for his response. Finally, after a long moment, Anakin replied: "It's Ahsoka, she's been acting...strange."

"Strange?" Padmé repeated, eyebrows furrowing with concern as she lead Anakin into her living room by the hand. Taking a seat on her couch, Padmé inquired: "How so?"

Sitting next to her, Anakin explained to his wife Ahsoka's behaviour since the incident with Bane while she listened with her growing concern for Anakin's padawan showing clearly on her face. "And today we were walking through the temple and I finally got a read on her..." Anakin paused, shuddering. "There was so much _pain_ Padmé; confusion... _longing._ I wanted to help her, but she shut me out." Anakin's mechanical fist clenched at the memory of the steel doors slamming up in his mind, hiding all of Ahsoka's emotions behind it while she looked up at him with wide eyes.

Almost like she was afraid of _him._

"Oh Ani." Padmé sighs, bringing him out of his thoughts by squeezing his flesh hand gently with her own. The Senator's lips pursed: "I never understood how the Republic could allow children to fight a war."

Anakin peered at his wife through his growing waves. "You think that's what this is? That the war is getting to her?"

"I'm not sure if that's specifically what's bothering her – but it's definitely a factor." Padmé states heavily. "You don't go into battle that young and come out without scars. Force, you don't go in at any age untouched."

Anakin nodded; the both of them could testify that. "So, what should I do? She's not letting me talk to her." He questioned, rubbing his gloved hand over his face at the sudden feeling of weariness that came over him.

Padmé smiled softly. "Let her know you're there for her in other ways. I know Ahsoka – eventually she will open up on her own. She just needs time." Padmé squeezes his hand again, then released it as she stood. "Now, would my handsome Jedi like some hot-chocolate? I hear even the council thinks it's good for the soul."

Anakin can't help but snort at the comment, a small grin tugging up his lips. "Yeah. That would be great love, thank you." As his wife entered the kitchen however, Anakin's smile fell, blue eyes resting on the nearest window. Staring into the lights of Coruscant , he thought of Padmé's advice which he never would have questioned a week ago, perhaps even today if it hadn't been for three words:

" _I know Ahsoka..."_

Anakin swallowed, his fingers curling into a fist again as he thinks sadly. _'How can we know her – when she doesn't even seem to know herself?'_

**I~** **I**

That night when he lies next to his wife, Anakin stares up at the dark ceiling – his mind wandering to his padawan who he hopes is getting some much needed sleep (peace). Cautiously, he finds himself at her steel door – not knocking, just waiting. He steps towards it in his mindscape and places his hands on it, trying not to mind the cold when he was so used to warmth. "I'm here for you Snips." He whispers, leaning his cheek against the cold door. "You know that. Please tell me you know that." He pretends he doesn't feel the burning behind his eyes even as the darkness closes in and he gets no answer.

Just like that – Anakin falls into sleep.

**I~I**

His dreams are instantly filled with confusing images and sounds that he doesn't remember within seconds of seeing them. He feels hot, then cold – happy, then full of sorrow that he cannot explain...This goes on for what seems like infinity, then it just suddenly _stops._ He finds himself in a dark room with only a beam of moonlight lighting up a neat circle on the floor in which a familiar figure kneels with her hands seeming to be fiddling with something. He frowns, taking a step forward which causes her to sit up – her back tensing as she turned her head. Anakin sucked in a breath, "Ahsoka."

"Anakin." She whispered back, gracefully getting to her feet giving the opportunity to see what was grasped in her hands...her lightsaber. His eyebrows furrow in confusion, his mouth parting to ask a question only to be silenced when she suddenly places a hand against his cheek. He stares at her, and she stares back – her features softening the longer she gazed at his face. "You know, you've always looked out for me." Ahsoka murmured, briefly taking Anakin aback.

After a moment he chuckles. "I think it's safe to say we've both looked after each other."

Her smile is slight, wobbly and seems too bitter to be a response to his words. "Not always." She breathes, almost too quiet for him to hear. Almost.

His hand grips hers, worry clouding his features. "Ahsoka – what are you talking about? What's wrong?"

"Hopefully nothing." She replies, though her voice breaks even as she rubs her thumb over his cheek. "Nothing that I can't fix." Her voice hardens with determination while his grip tightens and he steps nearer shaking his head in confusion.

"What's that supposed to mean Snips?" He questions, trying not to lose his patience when she lets out a soft laugh. She offers another smile as her answer – and Anakin is stunned to see how _real_ it was compared to her other smiles as of late. Real, but not the familiar one he had come to know. Some of his patience breaks. "Why won't you just tell me what's wrong? I can help you!" He all but begs.

Ahsoka sighs. "I know you can Master..." She stands on her toes and gently tilts his head down so that she can brush a tender kiss against his brow. The tenderness of the action takes all his fury away, leaving him to lean towards Ahsoka and wrap his arms around her tightly. She returns the embrace, pressing another kiss to his forehead: "But it's my turn to help you." The words sound like something sacred as well as a hint to something that Anakin can't understand...

"What does that mean?" He inquires, pulling away to see her smiling face which begins to fade away as she pulls herself from his embrace. "Ahsoka – what does that mean?!"

"Don't worry Skyguy." She replies as her form flickers like a dying candle. "It will be all right."

Anakin reaches for her in desperation – but she disappears like smoke, and then so does he.

**I~I**

When Anakin awakens to his wife asking him how his sleep was, he smile and says: "Dreamless" ignoring the small nag at the back of his mind that made him doubt it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, feedback in the form of constructive criticism, compliments and/or questions are much appreciated.

**Author's Note:**

> Any thoughts? Opinions, encouragement, constructive criticism?


End file.
